My son is spending the day with his new
teacher and class-mates today at his year 6 induction day, which is kind of a
big deal in his life so far.
He goes to a school that has students from
Reception through to Year 12 and the school is split into Primary School,
Middle School and High School. Year 6 is the first year of Middle School so
he’ll be graduating from Primary School this year with a real graduation
ceremony and everything. It’s all a bit strange to me but both my kids seem to
enjoy the structure of the school and so far it’s been a very positive
experience for all of us.
The thing is, Nathan has a really tight
posse of mates. REALLY TIGHT. Most of them went to kindergarten together and
then started school at the same time. TOGETHER. They learn together, lunch together,
walk together, play club-sport together, Skype together… you get the picture.
And for Nathan, that’s extremely important. He’s the kind of kid who, despite
being incredibly popular, really values the dynamic of having a small handful
of close friends. So when he discovered yesterday that ALL of his mates were
heading into one class and he was heading into another, the rug was pulled out
from under his world.
And oh god how I felt for him. He was SO
upset. Dejected and confused and then really worried about what lay ahead for
him, especially because there is a huge intake of new [and potentially scary!]
kids in Year 6. I talked calmly and sensibly and made all the right soothing
noises but I was panicking inside.
Why did they do this to my son?? How could
they do this to him? How will I fix it?
I spoke to a couple of very wise mum
friends who talked me off the ledge and I realised something significant.
Nothing needed to be fixed. This may be well be the poster child for a ‘first-world
problem.’ He just needed to understand how to manage it. I remembered my own quest
to raise a resilient kid and I remembered how resilient I was when I was
younger. Through necessity sure, but the end result was pretty decent.
I reminded Nathan that friendships don’t
only live in the classroom but out on the oval and in the playground and on the
footy field. I told him he would be fine and that he would be lucky enough to
meet some new friends and when that didn’t work, I sat on the edge of his bed
and quietly told him of a very special and important story...
When I was growing up, a looooong time ago,
there was only Primary School and High School and they were two different
schools. In different places.
High School started in Year 8 and the first
time I met my new teacher in my new school with my new class-mates was on the
first day of school.
I was SO NERVOUS. There was only one other
girl, called Tara, from my Primary School in my class who was very nice but she
wasn’t one my ‘friends’. Of course I sat next to her anyway but I was terrified
that I wouldn’t have any friends in my new school.
I sat there quietly and watched as
everyone’s name was called out for role call and they had to go up to the front
of the class to collect something from our new teacher. I can’t remember what
that something was but my surname started with B so I was one of the first
people who had to go up the front. It was horrible! But over quickly and then I
just sat and watched everyone else.
After some time the list got to W and I
watched this girl, who I’d never seen before obviously, walk up to the front of
the class. She was so confident! The boys in the class were saying silly things
because boys are silly…
"No we’re not Mum!"
Well, SOME boys are silly and they were
saying silly things to this girl [What I didn’t tell him, is that her
windcheater had a picture of Mickey Mouse on it and the word Mickey printed
randomly all over it. That was during the era that people in our neck of the
woods called sperm/cum/ejaculation ‘mickey’ and those bastards were saying
‘ooooh she’s got ‘mickey’ all over her top”!] but she did not flinch! She
didn’t rush and she didn’t fidget and she had no apology in her step.
I watched her and I thought to myself ‘THAT
girl is going to my friend” and by the end of the day, we were friends.
"Yeah, that’s pretty cool actually. What
happened next?"
Well… THAT girl is your Aunty Ilka that I’m
STILL friends with today and if I hadn’t been alone that day I may not have
noticed her. If I had all my Primary School friends with me, I may have only
been with them and not had room in my heart for Aunty Ilka. Sometimes these
scary days turn out to be the best things that could ever happen to you.
"Thanks Mum."
