Building a better brain

So, you've got a brain. It's a good one. It works hard and learns lots and knows where it wants to go - which is further. How do you make it go further? How do you make your brain better?

I was contemplating these cerebral questions while tidying up in the quiet time of a new year at work. And there, sticking out in our resource library was  my answer. 

Thanks to "The Leadership Brain - for Dummies" [and some extra help from Google] here are ten tips to get you started on making your brain healthier.

#1 Eat Nutritiously

If you really want high levels of cognition and the ability to learn new information more easily, begin with your diet. Foods that are particularly helpful for keeping our grey matter happy are:

Wholegrains with a low GI which release glucose slowly into the bloodstream, keeping you mentally alert throughout the day.

Good sources of essential fatty acids such as linseed (flaxseed) oil, soya bean oil, pumpkin seeds, walnut oil and soya beans. Also, oily fish including salmon, trout, mackerel, herring, sardines, pilchards and kippers.

Vitamin C has long been thought to have the power to increase mental agility. One of the best sources of this vital vitamin are blackcurrants, which are almost impossible to buy in Australia so your citrus fruits are the next best thing.

Just a handful of pumpkin seeds a day is all you need to get your recommended daily amount of zinc, vital for enhancing memory and thinking skills.

Colorful fruits and vegetables are particularly good antioxidant "superfood" sources. Try leafy green vegetables such as spinach, broccoli, romaine lettuce and rocket, and fruit such as apricots, mangos, rockmelon and watermelon.

Green tea contains polyphenols, powerful antioxidants that protect against free radicals that can damage brain cells. Among many other benefits, regular consumption of green tea may enhance memory and mental alertness and slow brain aging.

#2 Move It or Lose It

According to the research of Dr John Medina, author of Brain Rules and director of the Brain Center for Applied Learning Research at Seattle Pacific University, exercise can increase your cognitive abilities in a matter of weeks. Aerobic exercise only twice a week for about 30 minutes increases blood flow and provides more oxygen to the brain - all of which means that new blood vessels are formed and old ones are renewed, keeping your brain cells healthy.

#3 Rest

Brain science believes that you learn while you sleep. Your brain repeats the connections that it made during the day as it was learning and having other experiences. The process is called consolidation , and interruptions to your sleep at specific times affect what you remember.

#4 Relax

According to some researchers, the stress hormones, such as cortisol, can actually disconnect a network of neurons in your brain. To keep your stress low, try the following:

a. Relax, listen to music, take a walk, and run from stress.
b. Spend time with upbeat people, laugh, and steer away from cynics.
c. Manage time, create do-able daily targets, and avoid overloads
d. Take up a sport, do stairs, park far from doors and avoid passivity.

#5 Keep Your Memory in Shape

If you want to improve your memory and your brain, you have to use it.

Memorise something. If you don't like memorising numbers, try a poem or some funny stories. Even just retelling your favourite joke will help. These are great workouts for your working memory.

Over time you forget memory strategies: giving your memory a workout can give the opportunity to reacquaint yourself with some of them. Keep working it!

#6 Pick Up a Book

Have you read a good book lately? Reading is good for your brain. It also increases your vocabulary and helps you build new connections in your brain, maybe even causing new neurons to develop.

Here's Fast Company's list of the Best Business Books of 2012.

#7 Be Upbeat

What makes you happy? Make a list and take a long look at it. Make sure you find time to do those things that truly make you feel good. Optimism in a leader builds confidence in employees and customers.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

—Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor

#8 Make a Few Changes

Now is the time to break some of your routines. Try a new route to work or a new hobby. Breaking your routine causes you to be more aware of how your mind is working. The brain likes novelty. Give it something new to think about, and you make some new connections.

#9 Name That Tune

The brain likes music [mine especially!] and learning how to play a musical instrument excites your brain. Playing music activates several areas of the brain and so gets blood and oxygen flowing in various structures, making an overall healthier brain.

If you don't play an instrument, at least play "Name that tune." Someone hums the first few notes of a song and you try to guess the title. My friends and I do a modified version of this through Facebook where we type a lyric of song as our status update and you need to type the next line of that song [or the title] to play. That can wake up a few sleepy cells!

#10 Teach Someone Else

Research has suggested for years that teaching others is the number-one way to learn information yourself. Teaching reinforces old connections, strengthens new connections, and strengthens social skills too.

They say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but when it comes to the brain, scientists have discovered that this old adage simply isn’t true.

Whether you're an old dog or a young pup, there's no time better than right now to improve your mental performance.

Sources

"The Leadership Brain for Dummies"

http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/content/wellbeing/features/boost-brainpower/1/

http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/general/the-brain-on-cortisol/

http://www.helpguide.org/life/improving_memory.htm

My own brain

We need to talk

"My kid just won't tell me what's going on.."

It's a common complaint of parents to children of all ages today. 

"How was school?"

"Fine"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing"

Sometimes that's frustrating. Sometimes that's worrying. Sometimes it's hurtful. Nonetheless, mums and dads everywhere will keep asking those same questions hoping, one day, for a bit of insight.

My kids are really good sharers which I'm sure doesn't surprise you given that their mum IS a blogger and I can't help thinking of an apple tree somewhere. There are other reasons that they share their stories so freely though. We are invested in communication in this family. Good, old-fashioned talking. We do a lot of it. In fact, we have to tell our youngest to STOP talking regularly. 

5 things that we do to encourage sharing are...

1. Dinner time is family time

We eat together as a family almost every night. Phones, iPods, iPads, tv etc are not allowed at the dinner table and the kids are used to chatting. The location is not important either. Our usual dining table, outside under a tree, at a restaurant or fish and chips at the beach. It's the ritual of sharing at dinner time that is important to all of us and very rarely missed. It usually starts with a comment about dinner [loving it or hating it - doesn't matter] and then one of them will ask "Who's starting?". 

2. Highlights and Lovelights

We all get a turn at starting 'highlights' and this is when we share the best parts of our days with each other. We do it every night and if we have guests at our dinner table, we invite them to share too. If I was to be honest, the highlight of my every day is probably hearing 'highlights' at the dinner table - but I'm not allowed to say that. I have to come up with something good that made me happy during that day. Somedays it's hard for all of us but we never let anyone get away with not having at least one highlight. Just recently I added an extra little thing which was everyone to share one thing that happened in their day to make them feel loved or cared for, which the boys have called 'Lovelights'. The kids worked this one out really quickly and are coming up with some really warming moments in their day such as "I felt loved when Mum sat with me on the couch and watched tv with me" and "I felt cared for when my teacher put a bandaid on my knee". 

3. Drive time is chat time

Any time in the car is a perfect opportunity to chat because your audience is captive. We don't do headphones and we don't do movies in the car, even on long road trips. We learn so much about the boys here. Just yesterday while I was driving with my 7 year old I discovered that he's already thinking about the logistics of getting his licence and how he can save up to buy his own car. It was an absolutely fascinating conversation and it gave me great insight into his thought processes.

4. Bedtime is story time

Most nights we are both home to put the kids to bed. Almost always on time and almost always with enough time for a family story. My boys share a room so we can all be in there together to read the story. They get to choose a different book each night and we all take turns to read. Even the little one has a go now too. After stories it's time for the goodnight kisses and a quick reminder of what's on the next day. Sometimes this is when I hear about something they HAVE to bring in to school the next day that I have to pull out of nowhere. Little Stefan often asks me "What do I have to look forward to tomorrow Mum?"

5. Many hands make light work

Wherever and whenever we can, we share the chore workload with the kids. Which means we're weeding together, washing the car together, stacking the dishwasher together, doing the laundry together, washing the windows together and planting the garden together. In my experience this is the best time to learn about something that may be bothering my oldest particularly. I find that if he's distracted I can take the questioning and conversations to places he would not usually feel comfortable with in the 'spotlight' of a one-to-one talk.

The foundation of solid family communication is essential for so many reasons. Harmony. Togetherness. Longevity. Respect. Understanding. 

If you are having trouble getting your kids to open up to you, try any one of my 5 tips. It doesn't matter which one/s you can do. If you're not able to eat as a family at night then come together at bedtime. If that's no good and you're flat out ferrying them from school to care to sports then use the car trips. If you're not already getting your kids to help out at home then pick a task you can share and start there.

The truth is they're all easy and I'm sure that even doing one of them regularly will result in a positive change.

xx

Breathing, boxes and chocolate

My kids ask the most random questions. Out of nowhere they'll ask me about snot. Or why does that man have boobs. Or why the skin-colour crayon isn't the colour of anyone's skin in our family. Or who makes cars. Or why do I wee sitting down, out of my bum. Or what's the word on the street and where is it.

Not long ago, Stefan threw this one at me from the back of the car while I was driving. It's where my boys and I have some of our best conversations. I suspect it's because I'm a captive audience. How do you handle the tough questions? I like to give just enough truth to feel as though I'm teaching them something, without feeling too uncomfortable and then distract them. With chocolate. Yes. I'm an awesome mum.


S “Mum, why do we breathe?”

M “Because the air has oxygen in it and we need oxygen in our body to keep us going” TICK

S “But you can’t breathe when you’re dead”

M “Well, no because that’s how we know when someone is dead. They stop breathing." TICK

S “No Mum, that’s not why. It’s because you’re underground in a box and you can’t breathe under the earth in a box”

M .....silence. UH OH

S “Is djido [grandpa] in a box?”

M “yes” SHORT AND DIRECT

S “Is he in the ground?”

M “yes” DO NOT ELABORATE

S “I want to get him out of the ground. What if he’s trying to breathe?”

M “He’s not trying to breathe honey. Djido is dead and it’s ok for him to be in the ground.” TICK [but hands are sweaty]

S “Well, I don’t want him there alone. I want to get him. Can we get everyone up out of the ground?”

M “No Stefan, we shouldn’t bother them. It’s why there’s a saying that goes “Rest in Peace”. OH FFS! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF PET SEMETARY????

S “Mum. They’re not resting and they’re not in peace. They’re dead”

M “Do you want some chocolate?” SIGH... JOB WELL DONE.

Go ahead... make my day

It’s probably ‘that’ time in my cycle but just lately, my kids have been annoying me. Not the usual, can’t stand that whingeing tone annoying but actually pissing me off. What have I done? Have I really spent the last 7 years raising ungrateful kids? My kids are so fortunate that it’s ridiculous. They have two parents, who live together and who love them entirely. They are extremely well-fed. They are clean. They are warm. They live in a beautiful home filled with more stuff than they could possibly need. They are paid attention. They are paid respect. They are healthy. They are fit. They are smart. They can see. They can talk. They can walk. They go to school every day with their friends and are taught by teachers who are invested in their growth and education. They have extended family who adore them and they have a broad network of family friends who enrich their lives also. They have travelled. By car. By ferry. By bus. By plane. They have a great life so it is infuriating to me when I hear them complain and I’ve had just about enough of it.

I’ve started a new regime in this house and things are gonna change. Yep, parenting is thankless, we all know it. I don’t mind so much that I’m not thanked for being a bloody fantastic mother but I do mind that I have to defend myself, that I have to beg for gratitude for the simplest things. It does not excite me to cook dinner every fucking night of my life. It doesn’t bring me joy. It doesn’t fulfill me as a person. It certainly doesn’t challenge my creative flair as I only have about 12 dishes I can choose from to ensure the entire family will eat healthily and on time. So when I am told ‘I hate this dinner’ I go a little bit Rambo.

"In town you're the law, out here it's me. Don't push it. Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."

 

When my kids complain that we do not have a Wii, Playstation, DS, Foxtel, X-Box blah, blah, blah as they’re sitting on their leather sofa, watching a DVD from their own personal library on a flatscreen tv playing a game they have downloaded onto my iPhone, my head dips down and I get a bit Dirty Harry.

 

"...you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

And when I get home from walking them to school in their clean uniforms, with their homework done and the excursion forms signed and their money orders for book club packed neatly in their school bags next to their homemade lunches and I trip over the pyjamas I ask them to put away in their bedroom instead of leaving them on the lounge room floor every fucking morning… well that sends me a little bit Falling Down.

 

"I am not a vigilante... if everyone will just stay out of my way, nobody will get hurt."

I spoke to another mum the other day who is an awesome woman. She’s an entrepreneur and a wife and has four kids. She’s young and dynamic and confessed that she has given up cooking vegetables for her kids. GIVEN UP. What are you kids doing to us? What are we LETTING you do to us?? The nightly battle to get good food into her kids is so hard for this amazing woman that she has surrendered. Cue every other mother’s confession of letting their 5 year old into their bed every night because they’re too tired to take them back to their own bed or bribing their kids with chocolate to keep them quiet in the trolley at the supermarket so they can get 15 minutes peace to buy them good food or giving in to their toddler’s tantrum for whatever it is that they insist they need just because they don’t have the fight in them that day. Our kids are wearing us down. My kids are wearing me down. And I’m not putting up with it anymore.

 

There’s a new sheriff in town boys. And her name is Rambo Harry Down. Don’t mess with her – she’s nuts.