Easy ways to look fantastic

"Wow! You look fantastic!"

Everyone loves to hear that. Everyone loves to feel that they look fantastic. And looking fantastic is different for everyone. For some it is looking fit. For some it is looking healthy. For some it is looking well-dressed. For some it is looking happy. For some it is looking fatter than usual. For some it is looking slimmer than usual. For some it is as simple as not looking tired.

For me, it’s a combination of things. Looking good has always been important to me, but over the years, my definition of looking good has changed quite a bit.

Now that I’m a mum in my 40s, I don’t have the time, energy or money to dedicate to being gorgeous. So I’ve developed a loose regime of tips, tricks and products to make the best of what I’ve got in a time-poor, cash-poor lifestyle. I play to my strengths, don’t sweat the small stuff and always remember that attitude is everything.

I love my shoulder

I was out with my chicks a couple of weeks ago and one of them commented that I always have my shoulder out at parties. It’s true. I love my shoulder. I like to show it off. One of the all-time, greatest pieces of advice any stylist will ever give you is ‘dress to your strengths’. For me, my strength is my shoulder. Either one, it doesn't matter. I don’t like my legs. They’re dimply and one of them has a varicose vein the size of a rope running along the length of it thanks to my second pregnancy so I’m not keen to get the pins out. My arse is tired and my tummy has more hang than pot these days so I wear tights pants and long, loose, off-the-shoulder tops. My particular favourite is a batwing. Peplums can go fuck themselves unless you’re really slim and 25 years old. Which, clearly, I am neither.

Pre Beyonce Blonde

Exercise: What part of your body do you love?  Do your clothes show it off, or hide it?

I’ve got good boobs

If I’m not rockin’ my shoulder, then I’ve got the girls out. Gravity has taken its toll on my boobs, but a good push-up bra creates magic. Magical cleavage. I head to David Jones once a year to be measured properly for a well-fitted and flattering bra.

Exercise: When was the last time you were measured for a bra?

Hands

Hands are always on show and, having European heritage, I use mine to talk so I keep them looking good. I keep my nails short so that when I have time to paint them, they don’t chip too easily. One of my pet-hates is chipped nail polish. That goes for toes too. My other pet-hate is different nail lengths on the same hand. You know, when someone has 3 long nails and 2 short ones. Those broken nails aren’t going to catch up lady! Cut them all the same length and start again.

Exercise: Is your nail polish chipped? Are your nails the same length?

Embrace the mid-heel

I walk like a bloke. It’s true. I do. So sky-high stilettos and platforms don’t really feature in my wardrobe. I bought the sexiest, most delicious gold pumps for my 40^th birthday party but I’ve never worn them since. Sometimes you just have to make peace with what you know and what I know is the mid-heel is my friend.

Exercise: Be honest – can you walk in heels? If you can, I’m EXTREMELY jealous because they look sensational, but if you have not yet tried the mid-heel... I urge you to.

Lips

Often times, when you talk, people look at your mouth. So I wear lip balm to bed every night to keep my lips from drying or cracking. I also hate too much colour on my lips. Oh and I’ve tried because I love colour on OTHER people’s lip, especially red lipstick but it looks horrendous on me. I don’t bother anymore. Instead I buy variations of the same colour time and time again. Don’t believe me? Check out some of my current collection...

Exercise: Do you have a favourite lip colour? When was the last time you bought yourself a new lipstick/gloss?

Addicted to Accessories

I’m an accessory addict. I love necklaces and handbags and scarves and big earrings and bangle arm parties. I like to jingle. It’s the gypsy in me. A pair of hoop of earrings can make an outfit. Honestly.

Exercise: Do you like to accessorise? Be brave and start with a bangle or two, maybe even a statement earring. It’s fun and a really cheap way to lift an outfit.

Hair

I am INCREDIBLY grey. True.Story. I’ve been dying my hair for 21 years. In the lead up to turning 40 I had a ‘hair plan’. I would go Beyonce blonde for 10 years to help with my maintenance. Grey hairs aren’t so noticeable when your hair is lighter and when I turn 50 I’ll go short and grey. There. I’ve put in writing. If I’m still blogging in 9 years you can hold me to it. In the meantime, I’m at the hairdresser every 6 weeks getting my roots done. But I really should be going every 4 weeks. To extend the time in between, I have a secret weapon. If you have grey issues, you must purchase one of these. $10 from Priceline.

The miracle stick

BEFORE

The RIGHT SIDE [as you're looking at it] done - see the difference?

Exercise: If you struggle with keeping up with the grey hair regime, then get one of these sticks.

Make up with make-up

I was HOPELESS at applying make-up, so I took a course and now I’m really confident. I buy the right shades for me and know how to bring out my best features. Because I don’t wear it often, I invest in the good stuff and a tube of foundation can last up to a year for me.

Exercise: Is your foundation the right colour for you? Do you know how to apply your make-up properly? If not, why not book a session at a professional make-up counter [like MAC] and have them show you how to apply and then purchase the product they choose for you. You won’t regret it, I promise.

Smile

I spent a small fortune on braces in my 20s. It was the best money I ever spent. I don’t wear make-up every day. I don’t have the time or the energy and my hair is usually in the same twirled up bun I’ve put it in the moment I drag my tired arse out of the bed in the morning all day. So sometimes, all I’ve got for you to look at is glossed lips around a big smile. I reckon that’s what growing up is about. Realising that life is about feeling awesome, finding happiness is every day things and wearing your best smile.

Exercise: SMILE

So there you have it. If you see a jingling chick with tight pants and an off the shoulder bat-wing top in a mid-heel with glossy lips, short painted nails with a smile from ear to ear – be sure to say hi :)

What are YOUR cheap and cheerful look fantastic tips?

My brilliant body and the Stretch-mark Swagger

Do not be fooled by this photo... it's all about the angles and the filter x

I swaggered a little

As I walked to the water’s edge

The sweet sting of the morning sun

On my shoulders

My ponytail tickling the nape of my neck

I readjusted my bikini as I sauntered

Making sure it covered as much breast

As the scant triangles could

Tucking in a few wayward pubes that I missed

In my dry-razor touch up before I left home

Families flanked my sandy path

Mums, dads, babies

Pop-up sun shelters, deck chairs, eskies

I can hear a baby screaming, a young child laughing and a helicopter overhead

I held my head high as I made my way to the shoreline

I looked down at my belly, soft and protruding

So I sucked it in... just a little bit

But then I saw my thighs

Wider than my hips, lined with stretch marks, dimpled with cellulite

And let my breath out

I stood taller as I noticed my varicose vein

Which is more like a rope, snake its way down the length of my left leg

Knowing it will be there as a reminder of my second pregnancy

Until a time in my life that will permit me to have

The 7 days off my feet

Required for the operation to remove it

When I reached the water

And the waves lapped against my calves

I realised I could see my reflection

In the joy of my sons’ faces as they laughed

At my wincing against the cold of the ocean

Through their eyes I see my body

Is soft and warm and strong and protecting

I scowled at my husband as he joked

That I was being precious

And I could see that when he looks at me

He sees a body that created his family

His legacy

A body that has grown with him

A body he still loves

I smiled as I paraded

Proud to be me

In all my womanly glory

And I remembered a time when my body

Was younger

Firmer

Tighter

I remembered when my breasts were higher

And my arse stuck out and the only lines on my thighs

Were tan lines

And for a moment I became sad

Because when my body looked its best

I did not swagger

I did not saunter

I saw no glory

When my body looked its best

I focussed on the faults and trivialised the beauty

I saw only what it wasn’t and failed to see what it was

It’s only now that my body is older

and tired

and loose

and dimpled

and plump

and spotted with age

and striped with stretch marks

and mapped with veins

and creased with laugh lines

I see brilliance

Happy New Year - 12 lessons from 2012

I love a new year. I love saying goodbye to the old and looking forward to the new. I love that everyone gets all sentimental and grateful and earnest. I love that people are resolute in their good intentions, that are almost always broken, and that young and old alike celebrate side by side.

It's a great time to reflect. It's a proverbial line in the sand for us to stop at. To get on our marks. To go. Travel down a new road. Take a new path. Start a new race.

In fact, the whole of last year was a line in the sand for me. My 40th year. It was a great year of discovery and celebration and an expanding girth. It was also a significant year of learning. 

Here are 12 unexpected things I learned in 2012.

1. Blondes don't have any more fun than brunettes... but the greys are much less noticeable!

2. Throwing a surprise birthday party for someone you love is EXTREMELY stressful but may well be even more special for the host than the guest of honour. I hosted two and the joy they both brought me was unimaginable.

3. Making a conscious and public effort at being grateful was easier than I thought and actually filled my heart with light.

4. My 7 year old is a 'stand up and notice' kind of awesome soccer player AND has courage enough to face his fears to perform on stage for the school production.

5. There are still far too many moronic Americans who believe in a 'right to bear arms' and I have been ASTOUNDED at some of the ridiculous arguments I have read in the case to support that lunacy.

6. Returning to paid work after a long time at home is a tough adjustment and I will certainly be doing my best to support any friends taking that journey.

7. The definition of a wolf in sheep's clothing... as discovered by too many women in my life.

8. My 5 year old has such strong and unexpected willpower. Last year he made the decision to swim without floaties and to give up night nappies and to ditch the training wheels on his bike. He did it himself and they each took only days to accomplish. Certainly makes my job easier.

9. It's really easy to make jam!

10. Celebrating your own milestone birthday in grand and lavish style is an absolute must at least once in your lifetime.

11. Bridesmaids. Best chick flick. Ever.

12. I am a story teller and some of my stories, are your stories too.

The stranger who tells our stories when we cannot speak not only awakens our spirits and hearts but also shows our humanity... 

Mende Proverb, Sierra Leone

Time Travelling Tan

I recently watched the Time Traveller's Wife. Y'know... the one where the husband has some brain issue that causes him to travel back and forth in time so that he sees himself and his family at all different ages including after death. 

It's a head-case of a movie but it got me thinking. What would I tell myself if I knew what I do now...


Dear three year old me, 
Your fluffy little yellow baby chick is not standing up because it's dead. You killed it when you took it to bed with you to sleep. No amount of leaning it against the wall is going to make it stand up.

Dear sixteen year old me, 
I know you think he's the love of your life and that you will be with him forever and ever and NO-ONE could possibly understand how much you love him but he's not. Don't run away from home to be with him. You're going to break your mum's heart and your friends are going to think you're an idiot. Which you are.


Dear twenty two year old me, 
DO NOT resign from Apple. They're going to rule the world and you're gonna wish for the rest of your days that your were on that ship. Also, you know that start-up company that gave you an offer that you thought was too good to be true but you went for anyway? Trust your gut girl - they're crooks.

Dear pre-motherhood me,
Don't waste your time on girl's baby names.

Dear fourteen year old me, 
Don't be so hard on your Dad. He's not well and fighting many demons, which you will understand when you're older. Don't tell him that you're not his daughter because you've never had a father. Kiss him and tell him you love him. Don't tell him that you never want to see him again. Because you won't. 

Dear four year old me, 
Don't drag three kindy chairs together and ask your hugely overweight neighbour to take a seat when she comes to see you in your kindergarten concert. It will cause her and your mother enormous embarrassment.

Dear thirty-five year old me, 
The midwife got it wrong. You're NOT 7 centimetres dilated, you're only 3. Take the fucking epidural!


Dear eleven year old me,
He's just not that into you. Get used to it. It's gonna happen a lot.

Dear Year Twelve me,
Don't bother turning up to Biology AT ALL. You're going to write a poem for your mid year exam and you're gonna get passed for the subject anyway. PLUS you'll win the poetry prize, get published and have it read out on radio.


Dear twenty three year old me, 
She really IS a stupid, disloyal friend who should NEVER have chosen to sleep with your ex-boyfriend. So...when she comes out of the pub, take her around the back to beat her up instead of in the lit-up car park so you're not dragged off her in a full nelson by the bouncers.


Dear seventeen year old me,
You don't know everything. You never will.

Love forty year old me xx

What would you tell your younger self??

Spring Clean Your Life...

So I have this friend who's a coach. Not a sports coach. A LIFE COACH. Really. She coaches you through your life. Do I sound skeptical? I don't mean to be, but it does sound bizarre doesn't it? 

For those of you who are not yet aware of what life coaching is all about, it's about partnering with someone whose job is to improve the quality of your life, by guiding you through professional and personal matters, such as career, health, personal relationships, etc. It's like your best friend, mum and guidance counselor all in one room... but far less intrusive.

Tania runs Blue Sky Coaching. I like the inference. I like blue skies. They're my favourite sky, in fact. She has a diverse range of clients and starts her coaching with each of them by giving them a personal checklist when they begin. At a recent networking function, she showed us all this check list and suggested we use it at as a spring board to spring clean our lives... y'know being spring and all. This list was broken up into ten true or false statements each in the following subjects:

• work
• finances
• home environment
• health & body
• relationships
• personal

It was one of the quieter functions I have been to as we all read through our lists. There were lots of obvious statements like "I manage my time well", "I have a budget that I use" and "My personal files are in order". Answer 'false' and guess what? Yep, that indicates you need help in that area. Then there was a quiet buzz in the room as we questioned some of the more obscure statements and their relevance to the checklist and our own lives. I found the answers interesting and thought you may find them helpful.

I have had a birthday party in the last two years.

This is an indicator of you acknowledging and celebrating your life. It speaks to your inner happiness and affirmation that you are valuable.

I don't lie or exaggerate.

This is about not feeling good enough and your need to ‘embellish’ to make your life sound like it’s exciting/interesting/worth talking about. But let's face it, that's what Facebook is for.

My bed is always properly made.

This one was interesting to me. Tania says it's about having one more thing 'not done' which could be a very easy fix. It refers to visual clutter. I have to admit that on the days that I have time to make my bed before I leave for work, I feel more in control. Crazy but true.

My bed supports me having a good sleep.

Another bed statement that puzzled me. What difference should this make? Tania explained that this was about taking care of yourself. We spend a lot of time in bed and if it's crappy then our sleep is crappy then we feel crappy so our day is crappy and so it goes on. If your answer is false, get yourself down to Dreamland pronto.

I am happy with my current weight.

Tania says almost every client she has ever worked with ticks false. No real surprises there but it's a sad indictment of our society's self image today. 

Other statements she almost always gets a 'false' for are

I have enough confidence to do what I want in life.
[people tend to underestimate how great they are]

I am comfortable saying no when I need to. 
[that's why so many people are so busy]

I don't acquire clutter. 
[when people are surrounded by clutter it makes it hard to have clarity. They are distracted by stuff]

Tania filled a similar checklist out herself when she first heard about life coaching. She says it was a wake-up call that she deserved to feel better about her life.

For me this whole year has been a wake-up call that I deserve to feel better about my life. Something about the babies leaving home and turning 40 turned a new page for me so that I had already begun my spring clean before I even knew of this list. 

I had a HUGE birthday party. I bought myself a new, gorgeous bed. I'm VERY happy to say no. I've got no idea what my current weight is because I don't believe in weighing myself and we therefore do not own scales. I've just got to get rid of the clutter...

You deserve to feel better about your life too. 

Don't underestimate how great you are xx

NB - this post is in no way sponsored. Tania and Blue Sky Coaching did not ask me to write it. I was just inspired :)

Confessions of a grown-up...

I love being 40. LOVE IT. I think it's wonderful and I've never had an issue with turning another year older. Just lately though, I've noticed a real shift in my thinking. In my attitude. In my perspective and I realised... I'm not a kid anymore.

Here are twenty things that firmly plant me in the middle aged garden. Can you relate to any of these??

1. I can't be bothered. I really can't be bothered with anything that is inane. This includes people, children, conversations, television programmes and food.

2. Comfort trumps fashion. Ditto warmth.

3. Random sunny, winter days = washing. If another, non-middle-aged friend invites me out on one of these days, I will only meet them AFTER I have done at least two loads... or else it would be a waste of a perfect washing opportunity.

4. Dinner time is 6pm. If I am invited out for a dinner booking anytime from 7pm on - I eat first.

5. I get annoyed if the phone rings after 9pm at night for any other reason than an emergency.

6. I hate the music that teenagers are listening to today... and like to remind them that I am from the era that INVENTED dance music.

7. I ask my 7 year old how to record something on the hard drive.

8. I like spending time with my Mum.

9. I don't understand why young girls want to dress like tarts... and I think they look like tarts... and I use the word 'tarts'

10. I call anyone under the age of 30, 'twelve'.

11. I like going to bed early. I relish it. I particularly like it when there are fresh sheets on that bed and I'm alone with a book. If the book is good enough, that could be a perfect Saturday night for me.

12. I'm happy to say no. To anything. Particularly if it falls into the category of point number 1.

13. I am no longer recruiting for friends, so I have no need to impress anyone that's unimportant to me.

14. My make-up routine involves more than lipgloss and mascara... and I have bought a foundation that makes my skin look younger.

15. My social calendar is full of 40ths, 50ths and funerals.

16. If I still haven't achieved anything by 10am I feel as though I've wasted half the day.

17. I usually achieve a lot by 10am!

18. I buy scented candles and burn them whenever I want... not just when I'm expecting visitors.

19. I listen to Mix 102.3 and I know all the songs.

20. I like me. I no longer want to change me or wish I was someone else. I like the way I look and I like the way I feel. I'm particularly happy with the knowledge that I would be a deadset hornbag if I went to the gym and the only reason I'm not a deadset hornbag is because the gym is inane and well.. refer to point number 1 again.