What got you talking in 2013

I didn't intend to take a break from blogging. I had every intention to keep on writing through the festive season. I really did. It's just that, life got so busy. Cooking, entertaining, cleaning, recovering by the pool. Repeat. Finding the space and time to write just hasn't been easy. Today I'm getting ready to head down the coast to spend NYE with family friends. It's only the second time since I had kids that we've been invited to someone else's place for new years so I'm excited. I love having people at my home too but sometimes it's nice to be hosted by someone else. 

I've got a couple of blogs brewing for the new year but in the meantime thought I'd put together a list of the ones that got you talking the most in 2013. If you're a new seventies baby [welcome!] this may be a good snapshot for you and if you've been here from the beginning [thank you!] you may remember some of these.

I love hearing from you so if you feel so inclined, please leave me a comment [positive or negative]. You're the second most important person that I'm writing for after all.


The one about my little sister, PIMA...   - this is my opportunity to mentor a young woman in today's world.

The one about the vagina... - guess what? Vaginas are not dirty... despite what marketers will tell you.

The one about my Dad... - sometimes it’s the quiet little memory in the corner, hoping to go unnoticed that, in fact, gets your attention.

The one about the paedophile... - sometimes sick fuckers look like nice guys... and girls.  

The one about my brush with fame... - I could have been Tania Senna. Just sayin'.

The one about obese kids... - what do you do if your kid is allergic to calories?

The one where I give my boys relationship tips... - there's a few mums around that I wish had dished this advice out to their boys. Would've saved me a lot of wasted time.

The one that pissed off a lot of my male readers... - because women can't joke about sex.

The one in which I confess to not liking kids... - judge me if you will. 

The one where I weigh in on breastfeeding in public... - and two of my favourite photos as a mum.

So, that's the top 10 for 2013. Thanks for coming along for the ride... I hope to keep you reading and talking in 2014. 

Happy New Year guys. Stay safe. Stay happy. Love. Be loved. I wish you good times and sleep.

Tan xx

Viva la Vagina

Dear marketers, young girls, young boys and anyone else who's confused... vaginas are not dirty. Women do not need special soap or wipes for their intimate bits and quite frankly I’m offended that the products even exist.

What the fuck is going on?

I’m worried for our latest generation of girls and young women. It bothers me that the conversation they are involved in talks about hairless vaginas and intimate cleansing. It infuriates me that our latest generation of boys and young men are eavesdropping on that conversation. The conversation which carries, far and wide, this message.

Vaginas are unclean.

Remember early high school? I do. I remember lots of disgusting jokes about fishy smelling girls and snail trails and the grossness of periods. It was a tough time for a developing girl. It was shameful. We noticed that ‘down there’ did smell a bit. We noticed that there was that discharge that we couldn’t control. We were already embarrassed. We were already uncomfortable. But advertising wasn’t what it is today. There wasn’t social media. There wasn’t a life online. You copped the ribbing at school and went home and tried to forget about it.

Girls and boys are still the same today. Boys still joke about that stuff and girls are still uncomfortable. But now, they’re being told that the boys aren’t actually joking. Now, they’re being told they should be embarrassed. Not in those actual words of course. No it’s far more insidious than that. Today’s conversation is wrapped up in fancy packaging and words like Femfresh Intimate Wash and Libra Get Fresh Wipes. Make sure that dirty area is fresh. ALL.THE.TIME. And, while you’re at it, make sure you get rid of all that hideous pubic hair. You know, the stuff that differentiates your grown up vagina from that of a child. Eeewwww can you imagine it? A woman who smells like a woman with a hairy vagina??? #wouldntfuckherwithyourdick

Seriously, I’m mad. I can’t even articulate it without swearing. Profusely. The ads on tv offend me. The bottles of feminine hygiene I find in my ‘ladies lunch’ gift bag offend me. The entire fucking message offends me. I’m livid that girls my sister’s age are not only uncomfortable being a woman but have no idea how to celebrate it. They're waxing their vaginas to hairless peril just in case they hook up with a guy. A guy that’s probably only ever seen hairless vaginas.

You know what I don’t get? Men stink. Their arses smell and their balls sweat. Is there a ‘Manfresh Intimate Sack Wash’ for them? Do they have ‘Lynx Get Fresh Arse Wipes’ in their gym bags? Are they waxing their balls and their crack? Nope. Not a chance. Why?

I want to change the conversation, I just don't know how. I'm no activist but I am pissed off. And I do truly believe there's something wrong here. 

Don't you??