6 New Year Resolutions I will not be making

In previous, younger years, I made new year resolutions with gusto. Of course they were virtuous and admirable and ridiculous. Now that I’m older and the number of fucks I give has hit an all-time low I am very happy to announce that I will not be making any of these, previously broken, new year resolutions.

1. I will not drink so much

Well that’s utter bullshit. If this year is anything last year I will drink just as much. If not more. I may aim for more than one alcohol free day a week… or maybe a fortnight. Oh who am I kidding? I am writing this on New Year’s Day, sitting by the pool drinking a Rosso Antico on ice. Life is too short and stressful for AFDs and I’m certainly not going to start the year with one.

2. I will exercise more

Ummm… I know I should be doing this. I know. But I have actually made and broken that resolution every year for the last two decades. I’m not so much well-intentioned than just a flat-out liar. If exercise means I will spend more time window-shopping and increasing my typing fitness then maybe.

3. I will not swear so much

Fuck. That. Shit

4. I will cut down on caffeine

Bitch please. I did that twice in my life. And both times I was growing a person in my guts. Ever since I pushed those people out I’ve been exhausted so I think I have done my caffeine-free time.

5. I will quit sugar

No I won’t. I will not quit sugar. Not this year, not any year. I simply can’t quit sugar. It’s in my wine which I’m not giving up and I like my coffee strong and sweet – just how I like my men BTW.

6. I will lose weight

Hello? Have you read a word I’ve written? I’m not going to exercise, I like my daily coffees sweet and my wine plentiful. Unless I have another body part removed, I can’t see me reducing weight any time soon.

I tell you what I will do. I will continue to not give a fuck. I will continue to write. I will continue to be the best friend, wife, mother, daughter and sister I can be. I will continue to find contentment in the smallest things [because I’m too lazy to search for something more]. I will continue to feel good things about myself and the decisions I’ve made. I will continue to follow my [expanding!] gut. I will continue.

So Happy New Year. 

Have you made any resolutions that you’re planning to break?

So long 2014...

So it’s the end of another year and the new one is looming. This one’s been a big one, but then they all are. My boys turned 7 and 9 blitzed it at school. I raised a lot of money for cancer research and welcomed a new God-daughter to my family. My little sister turned 21, I had breakfast with Mark Bouris, I spent more than I earned, I danced, I laughed and I yelled. Oh, and my mother-in-law moved in with us. Let’s not speak of that. 

I returned to part-time work in earnest and seem to have found my happy place but it has taken my time away from personal blogging quite a bit. Still, I managed to belt out a few and I thought I’d put a list of the most read together for you to read over your holidays.

The one about loving someone who is depressed

The one where I declare there's nothing wrong with an ordinary life

The one where Stefan vomited all over the floor

The one where I come up with as many reasons as possible that women want to have sex

The one about Fakebook

The one about what it's like to love a 9 year old boy

The one about my missing pelvic floor

Thank you for sticking with me. I know I haven't been around much lately but I still love this gig and you too, faithful reader. I hope you have a sensational new year and I promise to write more!!

Happy New Year Seventies Babies.

Love Tan xx

What got you talking in 2013

I didn't intend to take a break from blogging. I had every intention to keep on writing through the festive season. I really did. It's just that, life got so busy. Cooking, entertaining, cleaning, recovering by the pool. Repeat. Finding the space and time to write just hasn't been easy. Today I'm getting ready to head down the coast to spend NYE with family friends. It's only the second time since I had kids that we've been invited to someone else's place for new years so I'm excited. I love having people at my home too but sometimes it's nice to be hosted by someone else. 

I've got a couple of blogs brewing for the new year but in the meantime thought I'd put together a list of the ones that got you talking the most in 2013. If you're a new seventies baby [welcome!] this may be a good snapshot for you and if you've been here from the beginning [thank you!] you may remember some of these.

I love hearing from you so if you feel so inclined, please leave me a comment [positive or negative]. You're the second most important person that I'm writing for after all.


The one about my little sister, PIMA...   - this is my opportunity to mentor a young woman in today's world.

The one about the vagina... - guess what? Vaginas are not dirty... despite what marketers will tell you.

The one about my Dad... - sometimes it’s the quiet little memory in the corner, hoping to go unnoticed that, in fact, gets your attention.

The one about the paedophile... - sometimes sick fuckers look like nice guys... and girls.  

The one about my brush with fame... - I could have been Tania Senna. Just sayin'.

The one about obese kids... - what do you do if your kid is allergic to calories?

The one where I give my boys relationship tips... - there's a few mums around that I wish had dished this advice out to their boys. Would've saved me a lot of wasted time.

The one that pissed off a lot of my male readers... - because women can't joke about sex.

The one in which I confess to not liking kids... - judge me if you will. 

The one where I weigh in on breastfeeding in public... - and two of my favourite photos as a mum.

So, that's the top 10 for 2013. Thanks for coming along for the ride... I hope to keep you reading and talking in 2014. 

Happy New Year guys. Stay safe. Stay happy. Love. Be loved. I wish you good times and sleep.

Tan xx