Tuesday, 12 March 2013

My brilliant body and the Stretch-mark Swagger

Do not be fooled by this photo... it's all about the angles and the filter x

I swaggered a little
As I walked to the water’s edge
The sweet sting of the morning sun
On my shoulders
My ponytail tickling the nape of my neck
I readjusted my bikini as I sauntered
Making sure it covered as much breast
As the scant triangles could
Tucking in a few wayward pubes that I missed
In my dry-razor touch up before I left home
Families flanked my sandy path
Mums, dads, babies
Pop-up sun shelters, deck chairs, eskies
I can hear a baby screaming, a young child laughing and a helicopter overhead
I held my head high as I made my way to the shoreline
I looked down at my belly, soft and protruding
So I sucked it in... just a little bit
But then I saw my thighs
Wider than my hips, lined with stretch marks, dimpled with cellulite
And let my breath out
I stood taller as I noticed my varicose vein
Which is more like a rope, snake its way down the length of my left leg
Knowing it will be there as a reminder of my second pregnancy
Until a time in my life that will permit me to have
The 7 days off my feet
Required for the operation to remove it
When I reached the water
And the waves lapped against my calves
I realised I could see my reflection
In the joy of my sons’ faces as they laughed
At my wincing against the cold of the ocean
Through their eyes I see my body
Is soft and warm and strong and protecting
I scowled at my husband as he joked
That I was being precious
And I could see that when he looks at me
He sees a body that created his family
His legacy
A body that has grown with him
A body he still loves
I smiled as I paraded
Proud to be me
In all my womanly glory
And I remembered a time when my body
Was younger
I remembered when my breasts were higher
And my arse stuck out and the only lines on my thighs
Were tan lines
And for a moment I became sad
Because when my body looked its best
I did not swagger
I did not saunter
I saw no glory
When my body looked its best
I focussed on the faults and trivialised the beauty
I saw only what it wasn’t and failed to see what it was
It’s only now that my body is older
and tired
and loose
and dimpled
and plump
and spotted with age
and striped with stretch marks
and mapped with veins
and creased with laugh lines

I see brilliance

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