Tuesday, 12 June 2012

A study of mums at school...

7 mothers you'll meet through your kids

So I’m entering my third year of being a school mum. When your kid starts school – it’s like your first day too. Who will you meet? Will they like you? Will you like them? It has been interesting to me, since becoming a mum, the network you become a part of. The kindergym mums, the swimming lesson mums, the kindy mums, the Montessori mums, the playgroup mums and so on. I found myself weeding and sorting and sometimes picking the best of a bad bunch to align myself with. Other times being overwhelmed at the really good selection of new friends. I have seen a recurring type of mum over the last 7 years. A few in fact. Do you recognize any of these?

The Desperado
This Mum has an annoying kid – and she knows it. None of the other kids want to play with hers so she’s desperate to make friends with you so you can hang out and she can bring along her annoying kid to your playdates. She injects herself into conversations with you and other mums and laughs a little too loud at all your jokes and tells stories about her kid that you know are actually dreams. I always end up being friends with this mum.

The Teacher’s Pet
That was her position when she was in school and she wants her kids to follow in her footsteps. She’s the one on every committee, at every excursion and working at every fundraiser. Her kid is the one hugging past and present teachers and bringing in homemade gifts. I treat them with the same disdain as I did from the back of the class when I was in school.

The Recently Separated
This poor mum is a wreck. She’s missing out on every event and feeling terrible about it. Her kid is always in the wrong uniform, or costume and missing out casual days because they fall on dad’s days and he ‘never f*cking remembers anything’.

The Perpetually Separated
This mum looks hot. All the time. Your partner probably knows her name and feels sorry for the rough time that she’s having bringing up Dick and Jane on her own. I try not to stand too close to her in my leggings, oversized jumper and bed-hair bun.

The Functioning Alcoholic
This mum talks about drinking every time you see her. She’s either nursing a hangover, planning afterschool drinks or on her way to a liquid lunch. She brings grown-up bubbles to every event she’s invited to… including morning tea. You know her husband’s a useless prick.

Who’s ever even seen this mum? She’s the one in the Mercedes Sports Car with tinted windows dropping her kid off at kiss and drop and picking them up from after school care. When you do see her, she’s on her phone negotiating a million dollar deal. I have CEO envy.

The Judgmental Bitch
This mum is standing in the playground watching your every move…and then blogging about it ;)

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